School Boys

[astra_nomer]

So, apparently, a student at a New England high school is claiming gender discrimination. The interesting thing is, the student is a boy. A white, middle-class male, suing for discrimination.

Certainly it's true that more women are entering college these days than men. But shouldn't we be saying, "You Go Girl!" instead of "ZOMG!! Save the boys!!!"

I cannot believe that education has changed so dramatically in this country over the last 10 or even 20 years that it's suddenly become biased toward girls. The educational system in this country was originally just for white males. Just 40 years ago, Harvard University did not allow women in some of its libraries. At the same time, the majority of elementary school teachers over the last century or more have been women, and while I won't rant about that issue now, it didn't seem to have hurt the legions of boys who were educated by them and went on to become successful men within the patriarchy.

Yes, it's true that boys have more behavioral issues than girls, and that will affect their educational opportunities. But is this really more of an issue today than in the past? Has boyhood really changed that much?

I recall being one of just a handful of girls in my high school science and math classes. I recall that when my calculus teacher handed out M&Ms to highest achievers in her class, that my candy was sometimes stolen when I turned my back, and at least one student complained that the girls always got the awards, even though we were vastly outnumbered by the boys.

Now I'm the mother of two boys myself. But I expect them to exert self-discipline in school. I expect them to do their best with their studies. I will help find opportunities within the educational system for them to get ahead. I will not tolerate them making excuses for themselves by saying they were discriminated against. If I've managed to succeed against the odds, they can too.

Comments

[lokiect.livejournal.com]

you know, just scanning the article, that's one of the funniest things I've heard in a while. I mean, it's like it's saying boys can't control themselves and can't find ways of putting in extra effort (equivalent to decorating their notebooks).
Though for the hall pass part, I think it is possible that the specific school is being unfairly harsh to the boys. And some part of me also takes it as a message that we also need to teach boys that art and drama are ok for them and their manliness, too.
clearly, boyscouts should need to learn how to knit and cook. ;9

[unclenomer.livejournal.com]

boyscouts should need to learn how to knit and cook.

Hey, we at least learn how to cook. Well, I learned from my mom, but I've taught many scouts how to cook on camping trips. And I've learned that when you teach a scout to cook, be the last to eat because the first attempts can be really bad. :-)

[lokiect.livejournal.com]

well, bake then. it seems so random that baking is a "girl activity"
and I'm sorry to say, but I think you are an outlier. I want to see boys being encouraged to do some of the "girl activities" at a young enough age to matter.

(this coming from the POV of a girl who was picked on for playing with action figures as a kid. The florida kids were way better than the california ones that way.)

[jadia.livejournal.com]

I used to act out "action figure"-type stories with my barbies and horses. So I played with dolls, but they would go and save the world and defeat the bad dolls or horses or whatever.

I did play with dolls hair a lot though.

[remcat.livejournal.com]

Whereas, my boys asked for a dollhouse several Christmases ago. They got one, and sometimes play with the dolls ... but more often, Zurg comes rampaging through the attic, or a dinosaur attacks.

[unclenomer.livejournal.com]

What, when their sons ask for a cradle for their baby doll, most dads don't go right out and build one?

Hrm.
Guess I am an outlier.
I can live with that. :-)

[lokiect.livejournal.com]

wait, your sons have dolls? you guys rock! ;9

[chenoameg.livejournal.com]

Their older son would nurse his doll after son #2 was born.
(Not for as long as remcat's son #2 did if I recall. Heck, that kid declared he was going to grow up to be a mommy)

[shumashi.livejournal.com]

I remember my next door neighbor's son doing that. Seems perfectly natural to me, especially when there's a younger sibling. Kids that age are all about imitation.

[unclenomer.livejournal.com]

He still will occasionally nurse the doll, though not very often anymore.

[astra-nomer.livejournal.com]

Well, if I hadn't had to wean DS2 so early, he probably would have continued.

The funny part was when the toy baby bottle went missing for a while, DS1 decided that he'd just have to nurse the baby doll until we found it again. :)

[lokiect.livejournal.com]

aww!

my brother had a friend who had a few barbies as a kid, but he was also really into war games and so on, so I don't think it was very obvious to his male friends, at least, outside of my brother and maybe a few other nice kids from our school. Since we moved before they hit puberty, I really hope this friend didn't get beaten up or go seriously macho later on. I mean, the social pressure to "be a man" is kind of frightening and, well, I'm glad I get to be a tomboyish girl- it's still pretty socially unnacceptable to hit a girl, even if she is athletic.
I think in general, I'm used to people outside of my family being really macho about their sons and trying to make sure they "grow up to be men" and so on. (I tend to assume that my family is just weird because, well, we kinda are- the most macho male creature in my generation crossdressed some as a kid ;9 )

[remcat.livejournal.com]

I hadn't thought about that in a while! Clone2 gave it up after we had a real baby for him to play with.

He has finally given up the idea of gesgating himself, but he is still planning on parenting one day.

[unclenomer.livejournal.com]

See, that just doesn't seem weird to me. But then I had a doll I loved as a kid. Though I didn't like that it didn't look like me, so my mom turned it into a male doll for me. :-)

[shumashi.livejournal.com]

What, when their sons ask for a cradle for their baby doll, most dads don't go right out and build one?

You are now my Hero of the Week. :)

[desireearmfeldt]

I now feel obliged to sing songs from Free To Be You And Me (I know some of you readers out there had this record as kids... :) ):

"William's grandma arrived one day
And wanted to know what he liked to play
And Bill said: 'Baseball's my favorite game,
I like to play, but all the same,
I'd give my bat and ball and glove
To have a doll that I could love...'

(William wants a do--ol...)"

[astra-nomer.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I really hate the "boys will be boys" excuses people put forth. And I equally hate the fact that "girly-man" is used as an insult.

And Boy Scouts should learn to accept homosexuals, while they're at it!

[lokiect.livejournal.com]

yeah, I think I'm kind of similarly pissed off that my art classes had maybe one boy in them and my science classes had me as the girl. I could rant a while, but I think what I'd get to in the end is that I don't feel like we can really make much of an equality breakthrough if we only pay attention to the female empowerment part and don't deal with, well, "freeing" the boys, too.

Amen, sister...

[(Anonymous)]

It's worth trying to address sources of gender imbalance in *both* directions.

It seems my school system (suburban NJ) was secretly, subversively progressive when I was there: we had a woman teaching mechanical drawing, a good gender balance in both art and science, a kick-ass bull dyke honors chem teacher, etc. That said, I did see some of the problems mentioned---at a much earlier age---particularly the assumption that male students were the rebels and subject to extra scrutiny (4th grade was particularly notorious in this respect for me).
I don't think there was a male teacher in my elementary school until I hit 4th grade, and I didn't have one as a teacher until 6th grade.

I did also notice that science at the elementary level is kinda wussy, such that you needed to be a pretty hard-core nerd to know much about science before middle school. By that time, puberty and image consciousness set in. I don't know how they broke us of the habit, because the peer pressure was pretty intense (even for guys); the folks who went into science were not particularly science junkies in 7th grade. Arguably art was pretty wussy until puberty set in, too, but I vaguely remember at least being called on to attempt a credible still life in watercolor. I think I even kind of enjoyed it enough to try it again at home.

Anyone else think getting the right messages in before puberty sets in is a Good Plan?

-JWM

Re: Amen, sister...

[shumashi.livejournal.com]

YES!!!

In fact, I'm hoping to put in insidious little gender equality messages into our educational software. Our main character has a little sister. It's one of my dreams to show him bottle feeding a doll, next to his mom who is bottle feeding the baby. Sadly, it'll be really hard to do, since on the technical side, animating three characters on screen at the same time is seriously time intensive. It'll be a hard sell, but it's on my list.

It's always also struck me as particularly one-sided that liberation movements encourage women in the workforce, but do not encourage homemaking men. It's supposed to be about choice, freedom to do what you're best suited to. And, let's face it, I would totally groove on a househusband.

[ukelele.livejournal.com]

Strangely enough, all-boys schools seem to be very helpful on the "art and drama are OK" front.

Because, well, everyone knows that schools have art and drama. And at a boys' school, you can't say "well, that is for the girls to do", because if you do there will not be an art or drama program. Also, there are not any girls around that you might embarrass yourself in front of ;).

One of our faculty, whose son is a ninth grader, was trying to encourage sixth grade parents to keep their sons here for seventh grade. He said that his son had not only been in the plays, but had cross-dressed to play women's roles, and asked them to imagine the odds that he would have done that at a coed school. Point taken.

[chenoameg.livejournal.com]

I feel like my high school did a good job of getting guys into art & drama, but I'm not sure as I didn't really do either. It might be who they chose, or it might be that we were all desparate to have as much as possible on our resumes college apps.

My high school did have trouble keeping girls in the upper level math classes, though. This was not the sort of thing that bothered me. Well, it bothered me that the other girls were fleeing, but it never bothered me to be the only girl in a class.