In the limelight

[astra_nomer]

So, I sang in this holiday chorus, and we put on a few performances at a couple of nursing homes as well as the big concert at work. In a fit of vanity, I auditioned for a solo, and got it, but then again, everyone who auditioned a solo number got it, so not like it was a big deal. But actually, for me personally, it was a big deal.

I've given scientific talks in front of much larger and much more critical audiences, and can do it without breaking a sweat these days. But singing? It is SOOO nerve-wracking. It's like I'm exposing my soul to the world. Very very scary. I think I've figured out that the key to showmanship is to not be afraid of making a complete idiot of yourself. But that is precisely my biggest fear.

Relatedly, I saw this at shumashi's:

It's hysterical, and well-done, and just excellent. (Certainly they're way better than the holiday chorus I just sang in.)

I wish I had discovered singing earlier. The first time I sang in a chorus (not counting grade school) was in graduate school. I wish I'd had the nerve to show up for my Chorallaries audition freshman year. But then again, it wasn't until well into my first postdoc until I was able to give a talk without trembling violently. So I certainly didn't have much poise, much less stage presence, as a wee little freshman. I love a capella singing, close harmony, all that stuff. Back in college, you couldn't walk two feet without stumbling over an a capella group on a campus. But now, as a thirty-something working mother of two, those opportunities have passed me by. Back in college, I would have said I didn't have time for such things then, either.

If I could go back in time, I'd tell my younger self to seize the day, not let those opportunities slip through my fingers, not to let fear get in the way of doing what I really want. Not that my younger self would probably listen. But perhaps the better message is to tell my current self to seize the day, take advantage of the opportunities at hand rather than waste my time on regret.

Comments

[shumashi.livejournal.com]

In retrospect, I would have loved being in a cappella singing. I actually auditioned for Chorallaries, but I didn't actually know what a cappella singing was back then. Totally messed up. I would like to do something like that now.