(no subject)

[astra_nomer]

Somebody remind me why I shouldn't give into the social conservatives and give up this working mother crap.


Edit: Okay, so this post was generated mostly because I've been feeling down and unmotivated lately, and the daily routine is wearing me down. And possibly because I haven't had a good run in a few days because the weather is conspiring against me. And the "social conservatives" comment was mostly from hearing about Judge Roberts on the radio this morning.

TGIF.

Comments

[chenoameg.livejournal.com]

Perhaps not the answer you're looking for, but you'd go bonkers if you stayed home with your boys every day.

Also you really like your research. Nothing else makes you feel the same way as working on a project.

Is something particular up?

[astra-nomer.livejournal.com]

Remind me why I like my research?

Okay, so I know that what I'm doing is cool and interesting and all. But I don't feel the love right now...

[desireearmfeldt]

Because both your work and your kids are important to you?

[astra-nomer.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but it's a lot easier to quit astronomy than to quit motherhood. Wish I could get out of this funk I'm in...

[ukelele.livejournal.com]

What they said, plus which astrophysicist is a sexy-ass job and you've got adorable and charismatic kids.

Also, you and Phyllis Schlafly on the same side of something would be like a matter/antimatter reaction that would destroy the universe.

But I, too, have to wonder if something is up.

[astra-nomer.livejournal.com]

astrophysicist is a sexy-ass job

Really? I thought that just made me an uber-geek.

[marcusmarcusrc.livejournal.com]

Some of us think that uber-geeks are pretty sexy. =)

[ukelele.livejournal.com]

The fact that I am also an uber-geek may be coloring my judgment.

[kirisutogomen.livejournal.com]

Oh no. Astrophysics is very sexy.

[capsicumanuum.livejournal.com]

One more vote for the sexy-assedness of astrophysics

[shumashi.livejournal.com]

Er... to play devil's advocate, I wouldn't say it was "giving into the social conservatives." It's a choice. All options are valid: working mom, working not-mom, not-working mom, ditto with dads. It's just a matter of finding the combo that works best for you.

We'll all like you just as much no matter what you do. I do suspect, however, that you won't like you just as much unless you're a working mom. From what you've said in your past entries, it sounds like you wouldn't be happy unless you were doing both, despite the downsides. They're each just too important.

*hugs*

[kirisutogomen.livejournal.com]

Yeah, don't give in to anyone with a political agenda. Especially about how you live your life. Your life isn't an ideological statement, it's a life.

[astra-nomer.livejournal.com]

I just feel like certain people, especially certain high-level politicans, are going out of their way to make it hard for me to live the way I want to. I dislike my ambitions being called "staggeringly pernicious."

[firstfrost.livejournal.com]

(Astrophysicist isn't a traditionally mostly-women job, is it?)

In the area of more general reassurance:
I think nearly any job, or life choice, there will be people who disapprove, some in very harsh terms. There will be people who think that moms should stay home. There will be people who think that astronomy is useless, and it should stop wasting taxes. There will be people who think that you got your job because you're a woman, rather than because you're good at it.

Because, for *everything*, for every possibility, there are people who are wrong about it.

It sucks. But you're not alone. :)

[kirisutogomen.livejournal.com]

Maybe I shouldn't get into this, but nobody called being a workking mother "staggeringly pernicious". John Roberts was referring to a California law, not any working mothers, their ambitions, their chosen paths, or any of that. He was referring to a state law. Now, we could debate the merits of that particular law. Or not. (I vote for not, but you could probably trick me into arguing.) But I wanted to be clear about what was or wasn't said.

Staggeringly pernicious

[astra-nomer.livejournal.com]

No, he didn't call working mothers that. But he did call the concept of equal pay for equal work that. And as I've said before, I'll be damned if anyone wants to give me reduced pay because of being a mother or woman or whatever else I happen to be.

Re: Staggeringly pernicious

[firstfrost.livejournal.com]

I thought the law he was particularly complaining about was one which said "We should pay professions which are mostly women more, because they are currently behind the different but possibly equal professions which are mostly men."

He's not saying "we should reduce the pay of women", he's saying "we should not increase the pay of nurses to match the pay of garbage collectors."

It's a topic worth arguing over (and Cael also seems willing), but it's unfair to simplify it to "wanting to give you reduced pay because you're a mother or a woman".

Re: Staggeringly pernicious

[kirisutogomen.livejournal.com]

Again, he wasn't talking about a concept, he was talking about a specific law. I believe in a lot of things that I don't believe ought to be legislated. I believe a lot of things that should be legislated, but disagree with the actual law in place.

The other problem is that the law referenced "comparable worth" which is not the same as "equal pay for equal work". The concept of "comparable worth" has to do with pay disparities between traditionally-female occupations vs. traditionally-male occupations, not disparities within an occupation.

[rifmeister.livejournal.com]

You really feel like politcians are going out of your way to make it hard for you? I think what you're doing is tough because you're trying to do two things at the same time, both of which require more than one full person's worth of attention. And I think it's inherently tough. Heck, it's hard for ME to find enough time to do my science, and I have no kids and my wife is low-maintenance. I can't imagine trying to do what you're trying to do.

I'd be willing to believe that politicians fail to go out of their way to make it easy for you, but in what ways do they actively make it hard?

[astra-nomer.livejournal.com]

It's not necessarily any particular thing at the moment, but the whole philosophy of the social conservative movement.

They dislike scientists because they preach evolution and Big Bang theory. And funding science is a big waste of taxpayers' dollars anyway -- that money ought to be going toward defense, or at least protecting our oil interests in the Middle East.

They dislike working mothers because they ought to be home with the kids, barefoot and pregnant and all. How else are all those working fathers going to get a hot dinner every night? Maybe they think that if more women stayed home and tended house, there'd be fewer men trying to marry other men or something.

Maybe I ought to just stop listening to the news, it mostly either makes me depressed or angry or both.

[chenoameg.livejournal.com]

"Maybe I ought to just stop listening to the news, it mostly either makes me depressed or angry or both."

Go for it. Find something to listen to that makes you happy and listen to that instead.

[nuclearpolymer.livejournal.com]

Well, as far as being persecuted by politicians, you can feel lucky that at least you're not a gay person who's trying to get married and have children.

So here's the weird part...everyone thinks it's perfectly normal if you have a job you love, but sometimes you still hate it and sometimes it's boring and sometimes you'd rather stay home and read. But if you admit that sort of feeling going on with your family, especially your kids, it's some kind of terrible thing.

[kirisutogomen.livejournal.com]

Well, in one case your responsibilities are mostly to yourself, and partially to other adults, who presumably can take care of themselves, and in the other case, you've gone and made some helpless people and now your responsibility is entirely to people who don't really have any other options available.

That said, my experience has been that mothers in general judge themselves more harshly than anyone else judges them. Admitting that having two little children can be very challenging may feel terrible, but only people who have never had children would think that of you. Not very many of those, either. I've babysat my 3 yr old nephew for a week or so, and having two toddlers seems essentially impossible, and/or superhuman.