Rumor mill
Mar. 23rd, 2006 09:25 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
I recently heard that a friend of mine from grad school who was maybe four years behind me, who is due to defend her thesis this spring, who won a Hubble Fellowship, has been offered a tenure-track faculty position at one of the places I applied to (and was rejected from) this year.
I am such a loser.
I am such a loser.
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Date: 2006-03-23 02:42 pm (UTC)The fact that there are more outstanding astrophysics than you are does not make you a loser. Not even close.
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Date: 2006-03-23 05:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-23 02:57 pm (UTC)There is someone out there who is better than me at the thing I am trying to do.
There is someone out there who's getting paid more than me, for less work.
It's hard, because I'm naturally so competitive in my internal mind. I want to be the best, the one. And sometimes, I'm often I'm not.
I think the goal is to learn to be satisfied that I've done my best. That's all I can ask of myself.
It seems to me like you've done your best.
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Date: 2006-03-23 02:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-23 05:21 pm (UTC)What he said...
Date: 2006-03-23 08:59 pm (UTC)He got the offer and took the job. If I were in their position, I would've hired him over me as well. He's just vastly better than everybody else.
That said, he's since moved on to other things. And of course if I'd taken that job I wouldn't be working on Fortress today. It'll be water under the bridge.
But I wish I were better at actually doing my best. :-)
-Jan
Re: What he said...
Date: 2006-03-24 03:21 pm (UTC)That's part of my problem, too!
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Date: 2006-03-23 03:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-23 05:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-23 09:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-24 07:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-23 09:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-24 07:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-23 11:01 pm (UTC)*Hug.* Yeah, it sucks to be competitive when you don't win.
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Date: 2006-03-24 07:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-23 11:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-24 07:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-24 04:44 am (UTC)Here's the deal: you're ironwoman. And if your success, at present, as an astrophysicist is not the same as hers (I'm not even going to say "not the same amount," Ms. press-release-interview-darling), I imagine your success overall kicks the ass of hers.
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Date: 2006-03-24 07:06 pm (UTC)But I do appreciate you putting it all in context for me, really. Thanks. :)
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Date: 2006-03-24 06:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-24 07:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-24 07:49 pm (UTC)But mostly I second everyone else. And hey, you are still way ahead of me, and I'm a year older than you!
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Date: 2006-03-25 07:33 pm (UTC)As for me, I'm working in children's education. Scary responsibility, but I'm trying to do a good job, and in general, I think my involvement in the products we make will have a net good effect. I sort of think of it like a game designer. Like as a person able to affect things, I have 100 Change Effect Points. By the time I retire, I'll have spent my 100 points. At the moment, I'm working on spending my points on creating an artifact to raise the Literacy skill of American preschoolers. Yes, there are people out there who are more brilliant than I am, and they have 500 or 1000 Change Effect Points, but that doesn't mean my measly 100 Points are worthless. They'll be added to others, they'll accumulate, and they'll (hopefully) make some real changes for the better. I'll probably never be aknowledged for my 100 points, no more than the people who only have 50 points or 10, but I'm trying to spend my points the best I can.